On a cold January afternoon, Coach Freedman led a small group of students through a healing meditation. In the class Coach Freedman talked about meditation, its history and its use in healing and martial arts. He explained how meditation was used by individuals and religious groups to bring them closer to their spiritual selves.

Coach Freedman explained about how we have a constant chatter in our mind. A lot of time that chatter is feeding us negative messages that are carried over from experiences earlier in our lives. He said that replacing negative mind chatter with positive messages can lead us to a more healthful productive life.

Coach Freedman then led the class through a guided meditation. The meditation started with a trip through the woods, observing the trees and the animals that we encountered there.  The destination of the journey was a cabin where we envisioned our spirit guide and what message that guide held for us. After he guided us back to everyday life, all the participants reported a feeling of calm and an invigorated spirit.

Coach Freedman plans on continuing these meditation classes. Keep posted to this blog for information on these upcoming classes.

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image by stuant63

I want to take a moment to address something that has an effect on all of us. Not just children, but also adults. I want to take a moment and address that inner child that is in every adult. I want to address the issue of insecurity. This feeling of not being good enough or afraid to fail or even to look like a clown in front of others or afraid to make mistakes.

The fear of failing. Even the fear of not knowing some thing well enough. The fear of looking or sounding stupid. The fear of dancing etc.. the fear of being your self. This inner fear started some where during our childhood and has remained with us into adulthood. This inner fear we call insecurity keeps us from accomplishing our goals. It keeps us from getting ahead in a struggling world. It pulls us down from becoming happy. It stops us in our tracks from trying new adventures or even reaching our goals or setting new goals. This inner fear cripples us to a point where we feel and think we are not good enough to accomplish things on our own or to learn new skills. It stops us from just trying some thing, any thing new.

People who are insecure feel as though they must please others so they can get the approval from others to try some thing new with out worry of ridicule. This insecurity or inner fear prevents us from making new friends or getting into new relationships. It can also push us into bad relationships we will regret later. This insecurity (inner fear) can cause us to make bad business decisions that can effect our welfare for not just us but also our families as well.

I have been teaching martial arts since the 1970s and it has been quite a journey for me. Through the martial arts I have learned much about my self. Through the martial arts I have learned much about other people as well. What I call a natural and common sense of reading people is what others might call psychic abilities. I say this is just wisdom gathered over the years of trying to understand my self and my interaction of others who share this planet along with me.

What I have come to take notice during my life time on this planet so far, I will share with you here and now openly. I have been really listening to all my students for the past ten years now more clearly than I ever could have listened before. Not sure why this new ability has awakened in me – (my ability to hear more deeper and clearer) but it just did and I am thankful for it.

I have been listening to my kids in my kids martial art classes talk, both kids and teenagers alike. What I hear is saddening. I hear them say to me all the time that they are not worthy. I hear them say to me that they are not good enough. Now I have not only noticed this in the kids and teenagers class, but also in the adults class. I have seen a common thread that links all of us together, children – teenagers – adults, a common mend of thought that has brought us to live our lives for the belief or care of what others might think or do think of us. We become crippled so badly that we wave our own rights of happiness in favor of what others may think of us, Sad.

When teaching all ages I have come to notice what people say to me. I have notice how they use their hands while they are explaining them selves. I watch their body language and facial expressions while they talk and I listen to the level of vibrations in their voice. Also I hear the volume of when their voice rises or falls when using certain key words. These key words coupled with their body language is what sets off my mind to start me taking notice there is a problem that needs my attention. This I call the wisdom of the Guro.

Here is an example of what I mean.

One child confessed to me that he is not too bright and is in fact stupid. This hurt me deeply to hear such a young child say such a thing about him self. I asked him where did you hear such a thing. He said my mother, my father, my brother, my sister, my cousins, my friends even his school teacher. He mentioned that the only place he did not hear this was in my jujutsu/arnis school and in my presence. So every where else he travels, he was made to believe he is stupid and not worthy of any thing. I was taken back by this and went against the grain and told him he is a very bright individual. Also I mentioned that he should not accept words like that because he will start believing in these words over a period of time and it will have ill effects on him when he grows up into an adult. I have recently had talks with his parents and they did not realize that they were causing this kind of effect on their child. I told them they need to speak with the school teacher as well and with other family members to acknowledge how and what they say to this child. They are destroying this young mind before it even can get a chance to grow into some thing positive. I explained to the parents that what they have been doing, they have actually learned from their parents and with out knowing it, they are actually keeping the chain (learned behavior) going strong with their family now.

I have heard adults tell me, the reason they can’t train with me now is because they don’t have what it takes to be able to do what I am teaching them or sharing with them. They lack coordination to do the drills at hand and this makes them feel dumb or stupid in front of others. My question to these adults are:

• “What else are you stopping yourself from experiencing in life in the belief of lack of coordination or the know how to do some thing or fear of what every one will think?”
• “Is that really the reason to stop living and doing what makes you happy?”
• “Are you really afraid of what others may think of you, if you make a mistake or look foolish in front of them?”

You see it all starts in childhood. You wear some thing that your parents don’t like and they tell you, so and so will see you… Do you want them to think this of you? I say tell so and so to go get lost and start living your own life and let out your spirit. Start enjoying your life now. Stop caring what others may think of you and be happy. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes and try some thing new. After all, our reason for being here on this planet is to experience life. Why not go and get the best experience you can before it is too late and life comes to an end for you or passes you by.

Martial art is a great way to learn to express your self and grow your confidence. As long as your martial art teacher fosters this approach of allowing you to be your self. Start checking in with your self and taking inventory. Start questioning all the reasons why you have not enjoyed your self or taken on new adventures in life. Why are you afraid?

Question every thing. Stop the fear.

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Coach Freedman demonstrating variations of the block, check and counter drills with the help of Guro Birmingham. In the video Coach Freedman explains about rhythm training in Filipino Martial Arts. He explains how to see or spot a 3 count beat or a 4 count beat or even a 5 count beat in a drill. These beats carry over into a fight and if your awareness is high, you can spot these rhythms and disrupt them. Pay attention to your training and see where the beats come in.

Related posts:

1. Karambit Drills Pt. 2

Self Defense is mental as well as physical. Here are some tips to address the mental side of Self Defense.

There are people out there who either enjoy robbing people of their happiness or enjoy putting other people down. Sometimes these individuals like to take control of other peoples’ will to power their egos or they were raised that way by caretakers or peers. It seems as though they really enjoy controlling other peoples emotions because of some kind of sinister ill way of rewarding themselves – like winning a trophy in some kind of sports competition.

Have you ever talked to a person and they were smiling the entire time during the conversation, but then afterwards when they were finished talking with you, you notice that you were feeling really badly inside. You would imagine or think to yourself that you might be making all this up. You are unclear if this was done on purpose or by malice or were you just losing your mind, making a big deal out of nothing.

There is a few things you can do to stop this from happening to you and others. I will do my best to help shed some light on this matter here and hopefully it will make some sense to you.

The Beginning, Creative Talk

They are actually using what I call creative talk, by picking their words very carefully. Some of these words can have double meanings and they choose to use these words in their conversation with you and with others. This is actually  a form of brainwashing and mind control techniques that are developed to undermine the unknowing subject or person who already lacks self esteem.

Not Good my friend!

In your defense from these individuals, try this simple exercise. First thing to do is start taking notice of the words you choose to use, in your everyday conversation with others. Do this on a day to day basis. If you really listen to how you talk and what words you are speaking to others, it will help you to take notice to how people judge you and why these people are able to get you to do the things you really do not want to be doing and why these people have so much control and power over your emotions and your life.

If there are words you really have little understanding of or do not know what that word really means, look it up in a dictionary. How many times have you used a word on a daily bases that you only have a vague understanding of?

Here is another exercise, carry around a little notebook or even a tape recorder on your person. Every time you happen to use a word that you really do not understand, I mean the deeper meaning of that word, go look it up in a dictionary. The dictionary is your best friend for combating mind control. The politicians use creative talk all the time to lull you into voting for them and it works. Write down every word you do not understand in your little pocket note book and then when you return home, dive into your dictionary. Your vocabulary will improve as well and so will the power of your mind.

Here is an exercise: write down ten words that you already know

Example:

1. yes
2. no
3. sadness
4. happy
5. maybe
6. knowing
7. change
8. salute
9. country
10. actually

Now for one week (seven days total) read the meanings of these words out of your dictionary even though you already know the meanings to them. Also read any other meaning in there that you did not know of these words. After one week pick seven more new words that you know and continue onwards. You can pick words you didn’t know as well, that will be fine..

Results – after just three months of doing this exercise not only will your mind become sharper but what people are saying to you will now have a more deeper meaning. Also, you will find yourself using these words that you thought you once knew, are now being used differently in your conversations. You will now have a more positive influence with your conversations when talking to others and trying to get things done – like on a job site.

Another way of combating mind control, try this…

When some one like a friend – family member – coworker etc.. says something to you in a way that makes you feel bad, stop them in mid conversation and ask them what they meant by that statement or what they are getting at with their conversation.

Now here is the important part and (again this will take much practice on your part along with courage), when they do or say something that threatens you, hurts your feeling,or just makes you feel uneasy inside, mention it, bring it up, allow them to know that you just now caught them in their attempt to either hurt you or manipulate your mind and control you through your feelings. This will make them think before they talk with you from now onward and they will come to respect you a lot more as well. By putting them on the spot you now just reversed the tables on them.

Ah-ha!

Example:

Lets say you are talking to your good friend and they happen to say something that really hurt you and they kept the conversation moving as if nothing had happened. But something has happened and you felt it deep inside of you as if you were punched in the belly.

“Hey Sue, wow you really look wonderful today, are you on a new diet? Well imagine how good you will look in a few months from now.. those thighs will become much slimmer and your legs will look much longer. I love long legs.”

This end part about loving long legs is to throw Sue off. This is double standard talk, meaning it could go either way. How smooth she keeps her vibrations in her tone of voice and how her face looks as though nothing wrong has happened will help sell this hidden insult to Sue and start the mind control process.

“Hey Jim, you look great, did you join a gym? Well whatever you are doing man, keep it up. Because you are starting to look marvelous. I am sure once you flatten out that belly a little more and start to show a six pack, the ladies will love that and be all over you.”

OK so now Sue is really not on any diet and Jim does not have a membership to a gym nor works out.

So what’s wrong with these two conversations you may think or ask?

Well the person who is asking and giving these complements is suppose to be your friend. They know you are not on any diet nor do you workout. You know they know your situation as well. But they go ahead and say something like this to you anyways and may be right in front of your other friends, who by the way, also knows your situation . You are not on a diet nor are you working out.

This person also told Sue that she, or now leads Sue to believe that she has big thighs and short legs and that Sue needs to go on a diet. Now this can be very hurtful to someone who is worried about body weight issues.

This person is also leading Jim to believe that he is fat and needs to get rid of his gut in order for the ladies to like him. He is giving Jim a mental image of himself that he needs to join a gym and he needs to get rid of his gut if he ever wants the ladies to be able to like him. Now Jim may really have a little bit of a belly, but nothing that really takes away from his appearance or his personality.

Also, how this person carries their level of vibrational flow during their delivery of conversation is what sells it. The flow of conversation and level of raised voice (vibrational frequency) has everything to do with their getting over on you with out you even taking notice to it until later on. After they have done their evil deed and dropped their hidden mind control seed of a bomb and they already walked away while you think about it, the seeds that were just planted are now taking root.

Now they really didn’t come out and say it in a direct way to your face that you could have taken noticed to it.  No, they chose a way to say it in a sneaky undertone way in a sense, that they are actually talking badly about you or that they are in fact putting you down right in front of your face. And they do this willingly right in front of others which adds to the drama. These are in fact weak minded people who actually enjoy doing this to others (putting them down) on a daily bases.

They may have learned this creative talk from their parents or they may have learned this from friends. It doesn’t matter where they learned this or picked it up, but that they are doing it with ill intentions towards you…and that is very bad.

Strong minded people will tell you to your face. Even if it means it will hurt your feelings. Strong minded people are not afraid to get emotionally involved with challenging conversation with others. I really respect people who can say what they want (what’s on their mind) and not beat around the bush because they lack in courage to be able to say what bothers them.

Instead, these weak minded mind control mongers chose to do it in a round-about-way to make you feel really badly about yourself by using creative talk. They enjoy talking you down so you wouldn’t know where they were actually coming from in case you happen to start taking notice to what they are actually saying and what they actually mean. Lots of people do this to others everyday. Maybe it happens on your job site . Maybe in your relationship it is happening right now. People are gaining ground over you by causing you to self-destruct.

Everyday there are lots of people that I meet that are all mixed up inside. They walk into my dojo very closed minded and guarded. They are not happy people and they need my help. They come in very depressed and are ready to self destruct on a moments’ notice. After I work with them for just a few weeks, the improvement is truly amazing. They start coming out of their shell and explaining to me what goes on in their work environment or job site. People are just walking all over these poor souls. But right after they get a few lessons in verbal jujutsu, they are a lot happier and I also notice they have more spring to their walk. They even bring me in other poor souls who need my help.

Here is what you can do about people taking control of your life by way of your mind.

Combating the Jedi Mind Trick:

When you either hear something out of place or that does not sound right or you feel something that is not right, just simply stop the person who is talking and putting you down in mid sentence or you can wait for them to finish their sentence. That is all up to you now, because you have made up your own mind to start standing up for your self and start putting ill minded individuals in check. By the way, by doing this you are doing two good deeds.

1. You are now helping this individual to realize how they actually effect others and just maybe they really didn’t realize or know what they were doing.
2. You are now starting to take control of your own life and that is a much healthier way to live your life from day to day.

Look them directly in their eyes, let them see you take in a very deep breath like you are disappointed in them and then release your breath to help you cleanse the bad energy out of your body and to help get you ready for the sand storm you are about to unleash. They will get the idea that something is very wrong and this is what you want to project outwards to them, that something is indeed very wrong here, just before you even start the questioning or accusing them of their crooked deed.

Look at them through their left eye (because in energy work the left eye is the receiving eye) and ask them, “What did you mean by that statement?” They will ask you what you are talking about. So allow them to know what you are talking about. Mention the part that upset you so much by saying it back to them. Mention they just now hurt your feelings by that statement and you are in fact upset with them and very surprised. Now you just put them on the defensive and they will have to explain their actions to you along with an apology.

If they do become very angry and upset with you and they happen to walk away from you, don’t panic.  Because this will now let you know that all this time, they have been doing this to you all along and they even may have had this all planned out from the beginning even before you started to take notice to it. They planned this script of creative talk in their own minds and they meant to brainwash you with it. How many other people are they doing this too? How many people do they hurt on a day to day bases and walk away snickering in a sinister way thinking how wonderful they are?

Here is a script to practice stopping the mind control:

Always say what you are feeling inside. This is extremely important, for instance -

• What you just said to me just now, is making me feel really uneasy.
• What did you mean by that statement?
• What you just said, really offended me.
• Why did you say that and what are you getting at?

You can make up your own scripts to practice at home first to help you design a method of creative self protection talk or speech. When you do face off with the bad mouth, you will have something ready to say and that alone will help you to grow your confidence until it becomes more natural to you and you can defend yourself right there in the moment that it has occurred.

Always stand up for yourself and do not allow others to take control of your mind. Live freely – laugh daily. There is no need for any of us to walk around feeling depressed or feeling we are not good enough. You are good enough,

This is what our society has now turned into.  Our politicians lie to us and rub it in our faces every day. Even our liberties and our rights are being taken away from us everyday on a mass scale.

Don’t allow others standing in front of you to rob you of who you are. You are now armed with the tools to defend yourself.

So stop it now!

Conclusion

I remember Popeye the sailor-man saying, I am what I am. I would like to also add something to that,  “We are who we say we are.” By using certain words everyday, that we are not aware of their true meanings we are actually programming our own minds to become whatever we say it is.

By using words you lack deep understanding of, it robs you of your inner confidence right as you speak them. This lack of confidence will come out in your vibrational tones that you speak in daily life. If you want to reprogram your mind for success, you can with practice. But you must be willing to make the change you want to become. Listen to what you say to others in daily conversations. Listen to any down play of yourself, by you or another person. Then make plans to start your program of verbal defense. Your life will become more enriched.

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Another Phil Duldulao video where Coach Freedman demonstrates some re-direction and flow drills against knife and stick. Helping is Guro Fred Lorman and Guro Ryan Birmingham.

Pay close attention to how Coach Freedman follows the direction of the attack and uses the natural motion of his body to redirect and counter his opponent. These are flow exercises and should be practiced slowly so that you can get a feel for the proper movement. If you practice too fast you might miss the subtleties  of the exercise. Have faith that if you practice slow the correct movement will come out if you ever have to move fast.

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I am sure you have all seen this story about the Jersey Shore MTV reality show host Snookie that got punched in a bar incident (Daily Mail). Take a look at this video on YouTube.

This shows us how quickly a violent situation can develop and how we always have to use our awareness to prevent it from happening to us.

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Here is an exercise I gave to young man who I am teaching through email. I figured it would be nice to share this with all of you in case you have not heard me teach this in my class-room (Dojo).

We will start with your Eyes first, ok?

I would like you to always have fun when I give you an exercises to do. This will be an eye exercise on perception of body language. I want you to start noticing all around you. When you look at a person (man/woman – boy/girl) notice what their bodies are doing. Photo by Karmalize.

Things to notice

1. Are they hurt? Are they limping when walking and if so, what is injured on them: Ankle – foot – knee – hip – leg – back etc..?
2. Are they doing happy things (smile on their face – singing – skipping etc)?
3. Are they angry ( frown on their face, hands balled up into a fist, their shoulders raised up next to their ears)?  Are they stomping their feet when walking?  Do their eyes look mean when they speak? Are they talking with an angry voice? Are they staring at others with an angry stare? Are they pushing things over or looking for trouble?
4. Do they look lost? Are they looking around like a tourist (reading signs , looking at a map or or carrying a map)? Are they taking pictures of themselves standing next to objects of importance’s like a statue or a building?
5. Are they scared or look scared? Are their eyes open wide and are they frightened easily? Are their hands up by their throat area like they need to protect it? Are their arms folded tightly with their head down?
6. Are they acting spaced out like on drugs or alcohol. Are they drunk and stumbling all over the place? Are they slurring their words when trying to talk? Are their bodies having trouble going in the direction they are trying to walk in. Are they falling down or almost falling down?
7. How are other people watching other people. Can you see if someone is hateful towards another human being? If you can watch peoples face expressions, after a while you will notice a lot you never knew about before.
8. Are people showing love towards each other – like a mother to her child or a man towards a woman? Are they walking and holding hands. Does the woman place her head on his shoulder and are they both smiling a lot.
9. Look for aggression. Is some one walking over to push another person or maybe even punch or kick another person? Is some one kicking a dog or running up to scare a pigeon or birds on the ground? Are they walking behind another person acting dumb and doing bad things behind that persons back (acting out)?
10. Look for deception, like when some one is talking nice to you but in their eyes they look mean or in their voice they raise it and deepen their sound of their voice. Notice if you or others don’t agree
    with them they look to become upset but then smile again and act like nothing is wrong or make a joke out of it.
11. Look for lies, when you ask someone something and they are lying look into their eyes and their pupils will shrink. Also if you ask them a question and they are lying they may double blink. They may look away from you when lying and then after they get through or past their lie they will look at you again. Watch which way they roll their eyes when you ask them a question.

Always watch everybody and study them without them knowing you are doing this. Some times when you stare at people it can cause you trouble, so be careful practicing your exercises. Some people do not like it when other stare at them.

The next time a bully comes your way try to notice if he is coming over to you before he knows it. Then leave the area. Avoidance is the best self defense tool we have in our martial arts toolbox. OK? Remember this, bullies  bully other people for many reasons. But the most important reason they do it is because they are afraid. They are scared of what others will think of them. They themselves are frightened to be bullied, so they go ahead and bully others to scare away the bullies who might prey on them. Does this make sense? They may become bullies because of trouble in their home life  and this can be deep.

Some people who are mentally ill will hurt you and not even care. They might not even be aware they are hurting you. They are acting out like in a dream and are out of control. You must be able to see them before they can see you to avoid any problems.

You need to be able to do these exercises for the rest of your life.
This is one of the survival skill sets I am giving out as a gift. My treat! but you need to develop it and eventually it will become automatic.

Let me know how you feel about this exercise. Always be a gentleman or lady  in control of your own mind and temper. Remember, no one can make you angry but your self. People can say and do what ever they want to, but it is you who has to make the choice to be calm or to become angry. It really is a choice. A good martial artist is in control of their choices all the time.
It is the Holiday seasons now, so try your best to always be in control of
your self and your emotions. Every one is under great strain. Please remember this and give way, let them go by.

Remember with each passing day do your good deeds daily.
Go out of your way to be nice!
Go out of your way to be understanding.
Always be nice…

Respect
Coach Peter Freedman Sensei Guro

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